No Phone, No Phone, I just want to be alone today.

Hey now guys. Did anyone recognize these lyrics when they first read them? If not perhaps you weren’t a CAKE fan back in the early to mid 2000s. Anyways, as my title would suggest I do not have my phone today , but unlike the title it was not on purpose. This morning I borrowed my mom’s car to run an errand and realized I had left my phone there before leaving for work.

It is currently 11:49 am and it has been a little over an hour since I have arrived at work. So far I have reached over 3 times to check my absent phone. These were the times I noticed so I am not sure how many urges to reach and look at my phone went unnoticed. I have also already gchatted my boyfriend and bestie letting them know I do not have my phone in case they tried to reach me.  Current thoughts include has anyone contacted me, what people are doing on snap chat, and are there any twitter updates I have missed. Knowing that this is what is currently consuming my mind is quite embarrassing. Have I become addicted to my phone and staying connected? As a millennial I know we all have some kind of attachment to our phones but can I really not go a day without being connected?

This takes me back to Playa Del Fuego this past fall. I feel like I have some deep rooted connection to this burn experience that provided heavy realizations about the things we depend on as a modern society but don’t really matter at all. I remember having my phone the first day and wanting to share pictures and snaps with everyone. Luckily, there was no service so I did not ruin the moment by having this constant need to let people know what I was doing. The second day I was freaking out thinking I had lost my phone after a drunken first night. I eventually found it with no charge so I had to endure without it. The third day  the gods answered my prayers when I found out about the charging station. I attempted to charge my phone but even after a day of charging I still only had about a 40 percent charge. By day four I had given up on staying connected and being attached to my phone. Instead I enjoyed every moment of the experience even if I was unaware of what time it was or what the outside world was doing. I was at peace being where I was, with who I was, away from reality. The last day I was so sad to go back to reality because Playa had become my new reality. I thought to myself I won’t ever revert to how I was before, constantly on the phone, over sharing these fake moments of bliss so people can like and approve. All I really need is my own approval and happiness in the moment. Sadly, I did revert. A week later I was back to how most of us are. Too connected for our own good.

It’s a day like this when I realize how much dependency I have to my phone and the internet. Even now with no phone I want to share this on another portal I can access. I want to share and see if anyone else thinks this way, or am I the only one. We will see how the rest of the day goes but for now I can only reflect on my current phone withdrawal and what think about what am I really missing.

UPDATE: It is now 12:48 pm and I reached over to take a selfie since I actually put on make up today. Why?!?!?! Being a phone-aholic is very,very, real and scary.

 

Surviving Jonas and Top 5s of the week

Hey now! Two post in one day? Indeed. I’m trying to play catch up on my own personal weekly post quota. So in case you didn’t know by the all the news and social media posts about Snowstorm Jonas, it was as bad as they said it would be. I live in Northern Jersey and we got hit with 32 inches of powder. I literally was snowed in all weekend with the exception of making my way to my boyfriend’s house Saturday night, ( he’s my neighbor) and unburying my car Sunday morning. Thank god for the invention of snow blowers because we were not making any progress whatsoever attempting to shovel almost 3 ft of snow . So what did I do with all that free time you may ask? Absolutely nothing. I slept a lot, ate a lot, and watched a lot of TV. It’s kinda embarrassing and disappointing  if you ask me. There were better things I could have done with that free time than just veg all weekend. I could have finally finished knitting my circle scarf I have been working on for almost 4 years. I also could have worked out and felt better about myself instead of eating because I was bored. I should have cleaned up my place instead of not moving for hours off my bed or couch. And maybe I shouldn’t have watched Rocky Horror Picture Show for the 149107589236576 time but then again I have ZERO regrets about that. Bottom line, I could have been more productive but I wasn’t which I now regret. All I can do about it now is be productive now by of course posting blogs on Word press.  All right enough rambling. Here are the Top 5s from this past week.

  1. Dream Diary– So in my last Top 5s I had mentioned keeping a Dream Diary so I can reflect on them and interpret my dreams. So far I have been able to remember at least one dream each night. I will typically write them down as soon as I wake up in the morning or attempt to write them down after waking up in the middle of night. Deciphering my half awake chicken scratch has been so entertaining. I even read some to friends and family which receive a lot of laughs. I have been enjoying doing this so far and I am still thinking about starting a Dream Interpreting group among friends and family. If any of you are interested let me know. We can always communicate via email, skype, wordpress, google hangouts, etc., just let me know.
  2. Knitting- Speaking of my 4 year old circle scarf project that I have yet to complete… Knitting is one of my Top 5s this past week. I reconnected with my old knitting habits and have made steady progress. I have found such peace and relaxation just knitting away in. It is quite therapeutic in a way. I am planning to finally complete this long overdue scarf this week. I’ll post a picture of it if I succeed.
  3. Fit to Fat to Fit– This week A& E premiere a new show called Fit to Fat to Fit. This reality show follows trainers that gain weight in an attempt to lose weight and get fit with their clients. I found this show concept incredibly fascinating. I myself have always struggle with my weight even though I have a B.S. in Exercise Science. For me the problem hasn’t been being physically active but rather having an emotional dependency with food. Though I have a basic knowledge of healthy eating I am not a Nutritionist and continue to struggle with cravings as well as over indulging. A lot of my friends and family have said to me that they find my personal journey more appealing to potential clients since I know the issues of being over weight and can relate. This show is directly related to this since the trainers experience first hand how difficult it is to lose weight when your body is de-conditioned. This show had me at the brink of tears at the end and I could see what an impact the experience made on both the client and trainer. I highly recommend watching this show if you are in the related field, or even if you want to see some incredible transformations and need motivation.
  4. Rain boots– Ahh my accessory of the week. While rain boots may seem like a very basic Top 5 item, you can not deny how useful they are. With the weather this past weekend I was so thankful to have rain boots that I could throw on to keep my feet nice and dry in 3 ft of snow. Wearing them this past weekend somehow brought me back to when I was at Playa Del Fuego in the fall. I lived in those boots. They were a lifesaver for the mud and giant puddles at the site. Plus the styles they come in are so cute and can be customized to your style. I may even invest in a second pair just in case.
  5. NO NO  APINK–  Well this is a surprise. Top 5s this week did not include a food item but rather a Kpop girl group? What?! Haha I know. I am not one to be interested in girl Groups with the exception of 2NE1 and F(x). A few weeks ago I was watching We got married with Naeun from APink and Taemin from Shinee. I had heard of APink before but again I was not interested. I find female KPop  groups to be super generic. However, I could not help but to check out APink because of Naeun as well as fellow members Eunji and Namjoo making an appearance that season and a year later on another season where fellow Shinee member Key was on WGM . To be honest I only looked into one song which was No No and I was hooked. I even learned the dance which was very simple. If you like catchy tunes this one will please the ears.

That’s it for my TOp 5s. I will be posting my Top 5s of this week later this week. Thanks again for reading.

What drives you kid?

Hey now guys. First off, I want to apologize for my absence this past week. I am planning to post my Top 5s from the past this week either today or in the next few days so look out for that. You may also see some changes or additional post this week since it is the last week of the Blogging 101 workshop provided by WordPress. Okay so now that I’ve updated you all on that I want to get into the main subject of this post.
This past week was not the typical week for me. I felt as if I was scattered brained and unable to focus on anything quite frankly . Even though I do not have a set weekly routine there are things that I do each week like post my Top 5s, etc. However, this past week I just had no motivation, purpose, or drive to do anything. This got me thinking what even drives me? What am I passionate about and why? I believe it was a week or two ago that I posted about how much I enjoy writing and the joy it brings me when I post a new blog entry. So why the sudden lost of interest? I didn’t have anything troubling me this past week besides a cold I had mid week. Being sick does make me miserable after my Pneumonia episode in October. Even today I feel like I have no drive, no motivation, and nothing that is exciting me at the moment which is completely off character for me.

Is it possible to be completely numb to everything? I feel no emotions. Not happy, not sad, not anything just blah. Perhaps I am seeing this in the wrong light. Maybe I am just completely satisfied with everything in my life right now that I am just still. So why do I feel so empty? This emptiness isn’t necessarily a bad thing but I do feel an indifference to everything. I think I am reading way too much into this. What I think I will do is just take it day by day and see how this feeling progresses or changes. I am one to make sure I am in tune with my feelings especially with my medications and past medical history. I don’t know… I just wanted to it put that out there. Usually I would ask my best friend about these feelings but she has been MIA for the last few weeks. Could it be that is why I feel so empty? The void of my best friend for the last 20 years? That could be it. We will see. The irony of my featured image though…

 

Sunshine Blogger Award Repost

So recently I came across a post from Pretty Little Stethoscope here on WordPress . She nominated her readers to repost questions that she was curious about. It brought me back to the time of the Myspace popularity and how people would post questions like these all the time. To indulge my nostalgia I have reposted questions and nominate any readers to join along with the tag #prettystethrp so it can be easily accessible. Enjoy!

One– What is your favorite song?

I do not have an absolute all time favorite song but at the moment I am loving anything from the kpop group EXO.

Two– What is your favorite home cooked meal?

I love scalloped potatoes and chili. Not together! That would be weird.

Three– If you could be any animal which one would you prefer to be and why?

A turtle because they are my favorite animal and just take their time.

Four– Who is your hero? Why?

I do not think I have a hero. Sad but true. I think there are people you admire and think that they are amazing but someone who is my hero… I have not met someone like that yet.

Five– How many pillows do you sleep with?

I sleep with 2 actual pillows and 3 pillow pets.

Six– Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)

No.

Seven– What is one thing you will never do again?

I will never shave the side of my head again by choice.

Eight– How would your friends describe you?

Emotional.

Nine– If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?

I think I would change two things. One is I would have seeked treatment for my anxiety earlier so that I could have avoided some awkward situations and missed opportunities. I also would have not done things that I have done under the influence.

Ten– If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?

If I could go back in time I would travel to probably the 70s or early 90s.

Eleven– What are you afraid of?

When I think of my basic fears I think of the dark, and dying. However, I think my true, real talk, deep dark fears include being alone with no one to love or anyone who loves me, having regrets that will never allow me to move on, and not enjoying my life to the fullest. I think over all I fear failure and disappointment in myself that would be beyond capable emotions and falling into a deep hole of darkness. Too real?

Dream Week and Top 5s

Hey now guys!  Thanks for coming back.This week has been quite interesting for me. I have been remembering my dreams recently and have decided to commence a dream diary as mentioned  in my Top 5s post from last week. I also brought up starting a club of sorts for friends or anyone who would be interested in sharing their dreams and receiving feedback. So far I received a fairly good amount of interest. I will keep you posted on how that will develop. Here are the Top 5s from this past week.

  1. Double Stick Tape– Every time I think of Double stick tape I think back to what I believe was a ZOOM episode where this girl was obsessed with double stick tape. She would decorate her whole room with it and put her shoes on the ceilings which as a preteen I thought was pretty awesome. Now at age 26 I have found more appropriate adult uses for double stick tape. For example my favorite button up flannel shirt tends to have a little gap around the boob area. Girls know what exactly what I’m talking about. I put some double stick tape in the gap and its magically gone. I have also used it as a quick hem fix on skirts. This is items is pretty handy to have on hand just in case of any wardrobe fixes or if you’d wanna tape your shoes on the ceiling.
  2. Board Games– Walking down childhood lane I have also been loving board games this past week. On Saturday I had a mini game night with my sister and long time good friend Beca. She brought over my new favorite board game which is called Ticket to Ride. This game is all about strategy, where you develop train routes to different cities and towns in the United States. Each successful track you build earns you points and who ever has the most points at the end of the game wins. Besides fueling your ambition and competitive streak, this game also teaches you geography, budgeting, managing, and prioritizing what you have. I adore this game and highly recommend it if you love strategy games. Another fun strategy game is Takenoko. This game involves an adorable Panda and the urge to say Takenoko just for fun.
  3. Sephora Super Regenerating Oil Serum– I am not sure if I have mentioned this item in a previous TOP 5s but if I have it’s only because this product is absolutely AMAZING! I had purchased this product from Sephora over the summer last year on clearance for 7 bucks! If I have any regrets it’s not buying the whole shelf. I tend to have combination skin which is more on the dry side especially on the T-zone area. My skin absolutely loves this stuff. I typically use it after cleansing alone or with a face cream on top of it. I stopped using this product for a while just because I was running low and wanted to use this miracle serum sparingly. This oil is hydrating, rejuvenates the skin, and amazingly clears up any breakouts or blemishes. This is my holy grail product. I am not sure if Sephora discontinued it or if they changed the formula or packaging but I cannot seem to find it anywhere. It is available on amazon for like $30 but after paying less for it I’m still trying to find a good deal. If all else fails I will purchase this product for whatever price because it is that good. This is definitely an all in one product. Absolutely amazing, please give it a try.
  4. Aussie Moist 3 Minute Miracle– I had purchased this product on a whim a few months ago. It was on sale for $3 at Walmart and I figured why not try it out to see if it really does what it says. I have yet to use a different conditioner in my routine. I tend to wash my hair 2-3 times a week. This product is fantastic for hydrating your locks. All you need is 3 minutes to have silky, soft hair that is shiny and smells great. Though I am trying to transition to products that are sulfate free and more natural, I can not let this one go. This is a must have if you have dry hair and want to give it some extra moisture.
  5. Purple Eye liner– I recently just tried purple eyeliner for the first time. I received it in my monthly glam bag from Ipsy. I have seen many of my favorite beauty You tubers use brown eyeliner to give a more natural effect which I think is similar to the purple color. Though I am just trying this now I love the results. This eyeliner does provide a more natural and soft look than black eyeliner. It also really brings out the color of Brown eyes. The one I am using is from The Balm Cosmetics Mr. Write Now in the shade Deep Purple.

If you try any items from this week’s TOP 5s or any previous TOP 5s please let me know. I would love to hear if any of these products have worked well for you. Also if you interested in being part of the Dream Interpreting group let me know. If your local in New Jersey that would be convenient or I could even accommodate anyone in a different location via Gchat, Skype, Snapchat, or even just email. Thanks again for reading. Hope you have a great weekend.

Can you love doing something you are terrible at?

Hey now friends. I have a question for you. Have you ever loved doing something that you thought you were terrible at? Usually when you are not good at something we tend to not want to do it or dismiss it such as sports or cooking. Recently though I have found something that I really love doing but I’m not very good at… yet. What is this new found love you may ask? Well, you are reading it. I am crazy,head over heels, in love with writing on my blog. I find such great joy after every post. It’s as if I am putting a little piece of my soul and essence into the world even if no one may read it.

When comparing my blog to others that I follow or explore on word press, I feel as if my work is novice and not very good at all. Yet, I still love writing new posts and knowing that anyone could access it. I’m even more elated when someone other than myself reads the blog. I get filled with such satisfaction and pleasure  knowing that someone took the time to read it or even just visited my page. It makes my day.

I hope that each blog will lead me to become a better writer because I adore expressing my thoughts with words. I love being able to communicate my feelings and opinions to others no matter how insignificant or pointless it may be. Just the fact that I can express it and others can receive it makes me truly happy. Thank you for reading.

First Top 5s of 2016 and random thoughts

Hey now guys! Happy Saturday. Today I will be posting the Top 5 things I have been loving this week as I do every week. Before I go into that I just wanted to express a couple of random thoughts that I had this past week. Emotionally, this week was quite interesting. Recently, I’ve been having some very intriguing dreams that made me want to start a dream diary to further interpret them. I even thought about starting a mini dream interpreting group so I can have other people’s opinions and input on what they think they are related to. I believe dreams are directly related to the psyche and feelings about certain situations. One of my dreams in particular pertained to friendships and feeling as if I have been pushed aside. However, at the same time I have thoroughly enjoyed my alone time to explore who I am, what makes me happy, and just being present in the moment. I know that whatever tension or awkward situations that have arisen from misunderstandings will work themselves out and I just have to be patient and carry on.

On a more positive note this free time has also helped me to reconnect to others that I really care about but haven’t been in contact with. I am very thankful for the opportunity to reconnect. Even though I have been trying to connect with others, I admit that I have been a homebody lately. I truly enjoy spending time at home and being in a comfortable environment. Perhaps the cold has also inclined me to stay inside and stay warm. Even though  I am enjoying this time right now, I know that more social and exciting events will be coming up so I can’t get too comfortable. Alright, enough ranting. Let’s go right into the Top 5s of this week.

  1. Kale – I feel as if I tend to start my Top 5s with a food item but hey I do love food. Even though Kale may not be in season right now I have been eating it everyday this week. I had purchased a big bag of Kale last weekend at Costco and can’t stop eating it. This sweet bitter green is packed with vitamins and is incredible delicious. I have really enjoyed consuming it as Kale chips or just roasted kale with olive oil and salt.
  2. Anydo APP (Android)– Surprise, Surprise, another app. I have been using the Anydo app for Android for months now and it has been a life saver. This app helps you establish tasks that need to be completed. You can organize them according to category, importance, or when you want to complete them. You can even set up alarms for when they need to be completed by. Even if you do not set any alarms it will remind you what you need to get done and to plan accordingly. I use this app every day to stay on top of what I need to get done for the day and I highly recommend it if you are a procrastinator like myself.
  3. We Got Married Global Edition– I sense a theme in my TOP 5s recently and Korean Televisions shows are part of it. This week I began watching We Got Married Global Edition the first season.My best friend had always recommended this show but I finally caught on. This show has 2 celebrity couples that interact with each other as mock newly weds. They have to meet each other, plan the wedding, and decide on common marriage rules while living together. It is interesting to see how strangers create a bond and manage being a couple. If you like cute reality shows with humor and a tpuch of romance this one is for you.
  4. EOS Lip balm– Not quite a beauty product but still in that category none the less. This is an absolute must have especially during the winter season when your lips can get easily chapped. I love this brand in particular because of it’s cute design and relatively natural ingredients. I always have one of these on hand.
  5. Blogging 101 provided by WordPress– This week Word Press commenced it’s Blogging 101 online workshop. Every weekday assignments are posted relating to improving or exploring the development of our blogs. It also helps us to interact with other writers and bloggers as well as check out their writing styles and topics. I have enjoyed this first week of blogging. I’ve been reading other people’s blogs and gained some followers. Though this experience so fat has made me realize how much of a novice writer I am, it has also inspired me to continue developing my skills and interact with other bloggers. I recommend this workshop to anyone and can’t wait to see how it will further develop.

There you have it, my TOP 5s of the week. If you want to stay up to date on my posts please follow me on WordPress. I will follow back. I would love any feedback that you might want to provide. Thanks again for reading.