No Phone, No Phone, I just want to be alone today.

Hey now guys. Did anyone recognize these lyrics when they first read them? If not perhaps you weren’t a CAKE fan back in the early to mid 2000s. Anyways, as my title would suggest I do not have my phone today , but unlike the title it was not on purpose. This morning I borrowed my mom’s car to run an errand and realized I had left my phone there before leaving for work.

It is currently 11:49 am and it has been a little over an hour since I have arrived at work. So far I have reached over 3 times to check my absent phone. These were the times I noticed so I am not sure how many urges to reach and look at my phone went unnoticed. I have also already gchatted my boyfriend and bestie letting them know I do not have my phone in case they tried to reach me.  Current thoughts include has anyone contacted me, what people are doing on snap chat, and are there any twitter updates I have missed. Knowing that this is what is currently consuming my mind is quite embarrassing. Have I become addicted to my phone and staying connected? As a millennial I know we all have some kind of attachment to our phones but can I really not go a day without being connected?

This takes me back to Playa Del Fuego this past fall. I feel like I have some deep rooted connection to this burn experience that provided heavy realizations about the things we depend on as a modern society but don’t really matter at all. I remember having my phone the first day and wanting to share pictures and snaps with everyone. Luckily, there was no service so I did not ruin the moment by having this constant need to let people know what I was doing. The second day I was freaking out thinking I had lost my phone after a drunken first night. I eventually found it with no charge so I had to endure without it. The third day  the gods answered my prayers when I found out about the charging station. I attempted to charge my phone but even after a day of charging I still only had about a 40 percent charge. By day four I had given up on staying connected and being attached to my phone. Instead I enjoyed every moment of the experience even if I was unaware of what time it was or what the outside world was doing. I was at peace being where I was, with who I was, away from reality. The last day I was so sad to go back to reality because Playa had become my new reality. I thought to myself I won’t ever revert to how I was before, constantly on the phone, over sharing these fake moments of bliss so people can like and approve. All I really need is my own approval and happiness in the moment. Sadly, I did revert. A week later I was back to how most of us are. Too connected for our own good.

It’s a day like this when I realize how much dependency I have to my phone and the internet. Even now with no phone I want to share this on another portal I can access. I want to share and see if anyone else thinks this way, or am I the only one. We will see how the rest of the day goes but for now I can only reflect on my current phone withdrawal and what think about what am I really missing.

UPDATE: It is now 12:48 pm and I reached over to take a selfie since I actually put on make up today. Why?!?!?! Being a phone-aholic is very,very, real and scary.



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