Get Your Shit Together!

Hey now friends! I know I am not the only one who has ever felt like they do not have their shit together. Last year, I would have described myself as a depressed, anxiety ridden 25 year old woman who is over weight, stuck at a dead end job, has a degree but nothing to show for it, no savings, living with her mom, has been single for 4 years, and just plain lost. This year I am 26, with a degree in search of a career opportunity while working full time for a non profit organization, renting a studio apartment ( granted it is still in my mother’s home XD), have a loving boyfriend of 6 years ( broke up 4 years ago), getting back in shape and happy with everything at the moment.

It is so crazy how night and day can happen in a short period of time. I could not have guessed that this is where I would be last year. I can’t possibly see where I will be a year but I hope that it will be even better than the progress I have made this past year.  A year ago I sought out help for my anxiety/depression and I am so glad that I did. It has really changed my life. Receiving my B.S. has not yet been life changing but I am working towards starting a career that will benefit others as well as myself. Even though I still live in my mothers home I have a private studio apartment downstairs with my own entrance and bathroom. It is so nice to have more privacy and learn how to pay rent like a real adult. I am still overweight but working on getting back to what I like to call Sexy Fit Mode. Two years ago I had lost 20 lbs and sadly gained it all back and then some but I know it is possible to lose any wanted weight if you put in the work. In relationships I am quite happy getting back together with my ex. I know a lot of people feel that we are settling and maybe we are but all we know is that we love each other and make each other so happy. We have not felt like this with anyone else in the last 4 years so why not give it another go. We have had 4 years apart to figure out what we want and don’t want as well as grow and mature which creates such an amazing dynamic for our relationship.

The point is, all of these things could not have been accomplished without changes and perseverance in oneself. You got to have trial and error to know what you want and failure is not the end. If you do not make changes nothing will change. You gotta go for whatever you want to happen and MAKE it happen. Easier said than done right? Boy, don’t I know it.

MIA, concerts, and Top 5s

Hey now friends! Sorry I have been MIA for the past week. There have been so so many times I wanted to post but did not get the chance to unfortunately. But no worries! I am back now and ready to post the TOP 5s of the last week. I know you are dying of excitement. Don’t all crash the server now. 😉

1. Hummus– I am starting off with food of course as my first TOP 5 of the week. I have been a hummus addict this past week especially with lent and not eating meat on Fridays. I had the pleasure of trying the Mediterranean Veggie sandwich from Panera and I fell in love. How could I not have thought to put hummus on a sandwich? Genius! I’ve been eating it non- stop. So good. If you haven’t tried hummus you should. It is gluten free also dairy free, nut free, and vegan if no yogurt or cheese is added. Incredibly delicious.

2. Maybelline Fit Me Concealer– Holy Mother of Pearl! This stuff is AMAZING!!!! I can not rave enough about this product. It is my new holy grail, go to product of life! I was previously using the Maybelline Age Rewind Concealer which was wonderful but still lacking. As soon as I ran out I decided to give the Fit Me concealer a go and I am NEVER going back to anything else. This stuff is gold. Not only is it affordable but the coverage is impeccable. I have been using sand sable for my skin tone and setting it with my Bare Minerals powder. I only use this product under my eyes, above my lip, on my chin and anywhere else I may have a blemish, pigmentation, or scarring. I have received so many compliments on my skin since I have been using this product and I HIGHLY recommend it. Also I would like to add that I received a sample of the IT Cosmetics Anti Aging Concealer which is a higher end brand and it does not compare to this stuff. While it is still good I find it super thick, sticky, and very noticeable. The Fit ME has changed my everyday makeup routine forever. It is incredible. Okay I am done now. I swear.

3. Tre’StiQue Baby Blush Stick in Bora Bora Coral– I received this product in this month’s IPSY bag and I am loving it. I usually wear a powder blush that is Sephora brand, however this product is way easier. This blush stick is a cream blush in a beautiful coral shade that is super simple to apply and blend out. All i do is make a curve from the apples of my cheeks up towards my side burn area and blend. That’s all to it. It gives you an effortless, blush look in seconds. For any beginners or novice make up users this is a must have.

4. Trend Glasses Frames by DNA– Last week I finally changed my glasses of 2 years. Funny thing is my prescription is still the same so I can still use my old glasses if I wanted but I haven’t yet since purchasing these babies. I got them from my local Walmart vision Center and never want to take them off. I tend to go with a thinner frame that are rimless to give an illusion that I’m not really wearing glasses. However, this time I wanted something different and bold. Something that says hey! yes I am wearing glasses! and I am cute! Teehee. This pair definitely gives that effect.The best part was that I had my appointment on Tuesday at 5:30 pm and my glasses came in that Friday morning. Talk about service. I am always satisfy with my visits there. Walmart has some great frames if you are on the hunt for a new eye doctor.

5. EXO Planet #2 The Exolution– I believe I had mentioned this in previous TOP 5 but do not quote me on that. This past Sunday I had the pleasure of attending the EXO concert at the Prudential center. Exo is a Korean/Chinese boy band that are incredibly talented and my absolute favorite! They are the most popular K-POP group at the moment and rightly deserved. The concert was unforgettable and I was so close to them in the PIT. You can check out their videos and music on Youtube. TRUST ME, you will NOT be disappointed. They are a very hard working, talented and humble bunch that are literally flawless in person. I didn’t think it was possible for them to be any better looking in person but they were. They had this angelic, majestic aura around them and I am a total SUPER FAN now after seeing them in concert. If you get a chance check out their stuff. The most popular of their music videos are GROWL and CALL ME BABY  due to the fabulous choreography. My personal favorite songs include HURT, EL DORADO, and PLAYBOY. If you are lucky enough to see them in concert you will not regret it.

That’s all for this week. Until next time. As always thanks for reading. Have a great week everyone. 🙂

Dear Fatty

Dear Fatty,

You are not Fat, you have Fat. Being seen as “Fat” does not define who you are. Everyone’s definition of “Fat” is different. Someone who could have society’s view of a healthy, perfect body, can still consider themselves “FAT”. Having fat does not make you any less smart, caring, or beautiful. You are beautiful no matter what. There is something about you that someone will find beautiful whether it’s physically, mentally, or your heart. Do NOT let society tell you that being FAT is a crime. Having fat can be due to many reasons. If anything people who consider themselves “fat” or have more fat than most,  need more love to know that they matter, that they are adequate, and they are not their fat. If someone tells you you are fat say I am not “FAT” I have fat. I have fat because I have had hardships. I have fat because I love food. I have fat because I do not deprive myself of my urges and what makes me happy. At the end of the day fat does not make anyone happy, so why would you point it out. Why does it matter to you whether I have fat or not. If you are concerned about my health then you should not say I am “FAT”. You should say I love you and I want you to be healthy and happy. I want you around for a long time because you are an important person to me and I love having you in my life. That is how you show me you care about my health not put me down with your definition of fat and stereotyping me as a fat person. I am not fat if I know I am not my fat. Know that and own it.


A Fellow human being who has fat.


Nostalgia of a scarf, most exciting week ever, and Top 5s

Hey now fellow bloggers! Thanks for checking out this post. This week has been boring yet exciting all at the same time. Sunday was extremely boring after watching the Superbowl. Monday was a blur. Tuesday I had dinner with my lovely friend Danielle which was long over due. I also explored for the first time  a very pricey and elite mall in a well off area with my bestie. When I arrived I felt POOR and like I did not belong there at all. So why did we venture there in the first place? FREEBIES! I had a coupon of course for a Free gift set at L’occitane. After the woman handed me the bag I felt so much more assured and excited. Isn’t that sad? How does having a shopping bag give me security of being at this fancy schmancy mall? Well, it did.

Wednesday was a day full of emotions. I was off my meds that day. I went to our local mall with my sister and found the perfect outfit for this Saturday. These last 2 weeks I have been planning a a surprise event for my bestie’s bday. I now know what it feels like to be an event planner and it’s busy non-stop hell. Which brings me to the ultimate pitfall of it all. I received a call that night from my bestie about how her co-worker had told her about the event. I was irritate and sobbed for the rest of the night. It felt as if all the hard work I had put in for my best friend of 20 years had been spoiled by one’s person inconsiderate mouth. I have OBVIOUSLY gotten over it ( insert very sarcastic voice here), but all I can do now is make sure that it is super fun for all which it shall be! Thursday was  the most exciting day of all. I slept for over 10 hours! Which leads me to today Friday in which I am contemplating beating my 10 hour sleep record. Okay, I am done with my weekly rant. Here are my Top 5’s of this past week.

1.Primal Pit Paste Deodorant StickGuys!! I started using deodorant again. Teehee. So I received my natural deodorant this week and I love it so far. It keeps me dry and odor free without the harsh chemicals of popular deodorants. I highly recommend it. I have been using the subtle lavender scent.

2.L’Occitane Shea Butter Light Comforting Cream– This stuff is money in a jar, literally. I was lucky enough to have a coupon for a free gift set in which I received this miracle cream. It is light but still super hydrating and my skin has been absolutely loving it. It you can get your hands on a sample prior to purchase you will know it is well worth the money. Give it a try.

3. Bareminerals Complexion Rescue MakeupI know, there are  a lot of products on my Top 5s this week, but they deserve to be recognized. I had used this product when it came out. I really like it but I noticed once we got into the warmer months it would just melt off my skin after a few hours. I then switched back to the Tarte amazonian clay foundation which I love. However, now in the cooler months I have noticed that the Amazonian clay foundation dries out my skin. I switched back to the Bareminerals and I am very happy I did. This is considered to be a CC cream that provides light coverage and is super hydrating. I think I will be using this product for the colder, dryer months, and then switching back to the amazonian clay when it starts getting hot.

4.Braids– I have been wearing braids lately whenever I do not want to wash my hair or simply have no idea what to do with it. It looks put together and cute with barely any effort. Also why not take a walk down your grade school days and look adorable. There are so many different styles to try.

5. Raspberries- FOOD! Yes, I love food and it is usually in my weekly TOP 5s. This week I have been obsessed with raspberries and eating them everyday. I like to eat them alone but even with some yogurt or chocolate chips they are delicious. Not to mention they are full of antioxidants, good for your metabolism, and delicious.


Those were my TOP 5s of the week. I also wanted to mentioned that I finally finished my 4 year scarf I wrote about in one of my previous TOP 5s. After I finished it I realized this is very nostalgic and related to my last post about being back to whee I was 5 years ago. It was around the time when everything pretty much fell apart is when I stopped knitting the scarf. I finally finished this year after kinda having a second chance and picked up from where I had left off back then. So weird. A lot of meaning in this scarf or maybe it’s just me being moody. It is one of my off med days lol. Enjoy your week everyone. Thanks for reading.



Rewind to 5 years ago

Hey now guys. So this morning I had a revelation. Five years ago back in 2011 I was dating my high school sweetheart of 6 years and preparing for Nursing School. The next four years of my life include breaking up with my long term boyfriend, changing my major, transferring schools, receiving my B.S. in Exercise Science, and working at my current job that is completely unrelated to my education. Now in 2016, I realized I am back to where I was 5 years ago. I got back together with my high school sweetheart and I am attempting to go back to Nursing School.

Even though I feel as if I have accomplished a lot and learned so much in these last 5 year, it is crazy that I am back to where I was. Back then I had a plan for my life that just fell apart. The break-up, the questioning of my career path, this is where everything changed for me. However, now I feel as if this is a second chance for everything I had planned in my life. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and perhaps this is my take two for success. I really hope that everything will work out. So far this year has been amazing in breakthroughs. So many good changes are happening and I believe this could be one of the best years yet.

I Give Up

Hey now friends. I just wanted to write a quick little post about things that I’m just going to give up on. I give up on trying to create a YouTube Channel because I have realized that realistically I probably do not have enough time to dedicate to a commitment like a Youtube anyways. I’ve been wanting to create a channel for 3 years now but I finally give up and I’m okay with that. I love blogging anyways. Next, I give up on comparing myself to others. There is no definite timeline or map on how,when, and what will be accomplished in life so I will not feel feel bad if someone seems to be more successful or has accomplished more than I have. Each person has their own path and opportunities so I refuse to feel bad about what I have and haven’t accomplished yet because I am still a good person that is successful in her own endeavors. Lastly, I give up on putting up with anything that makes me unhappy or uncomfortable. This can be anything from a situation, person, or item like clothes or more specifically not fitting in them. There isn’t anything wrong with me, it is the clothing that does not fit. I can always get new clothes but I will always be me no matter what size, shape, and age. I’m still me. Okay, end of rant. Enjoy your day everyone.

Am I interesting to you?

Hey now guys. Does anyone else have this epic inner battle about what the purpose of their blog is about? I know I do. Like now at this very moment I am blogging to put my ideas out there and just express myself to see if people like or think the same things I do. I do it because I want to connect and not feel so alone even though I don’t physically feel alone but in my thoughts and mind i’m just walking around in the desert or an empty crop field looking around not knowing where to go. Does that even make sense? In the beginning I thought about blogging because I wanted to start a Youtube channel for the past 3 years now and for other people. For other people I mean in the sense that A. I want to help others ( and I still do) by sharing advice, tips, and experiences that may be helpful, and B. so the people that want to keep up with what is going on in my life will have some insight since I don’t have a facebook to bitch about shit. Instead I have a blog to bitch about shit :). But, seriously does anyone else not have a clear idea of what their site is about or am I just talking to myself while walking in an empty desert or crop field?